Wrapped in tissue paper and nestled in my Mother bureau drawer, I found a beautiful Christmas scarf with tags still on. My Mother had not been out to shop in over two years before she died in March. It may have been a gift from a friend and yet, I claimed it as my own. An early Christmas present from my Mom, I will wear it and think of her. Miss you.

2016 My parents died 20 weeks apart. I am the executor. It has not been pleasant.

Executor                                                                                                    by rl simpson 11/3/2016

My sister is in FL now -taking what she wants before our parent's double-wide vacation house is sold. We are leaving things we do not want; it is how they do it down there. Our brother and sister and I, can not afford to keep it as a vacation place or ship the stuff back only to get rid of it here.  My sister insisted on her time. 
My brother and I had gone down earlier in the month to shred papers, throw away underwear from the drawers and donate all our parent's clothes. We sold the old car, they left in Florida, put the house up for sale, noticed the floor needed to be replaced and got some estimates. I decided not to spend any more money on a vacation home we could not keep. I put up FOR SALE BY OWNER signs in the park and got one inquiry but no offer. So after ten days, I listed the house with the over 55 park management company. 
My sister insisted on the extra time and to be allowed to travel down at the end of the month to cull what she wanted, from the house.  Believing the advice of the listing agent, that the house would never sell at that higher price, I agreed to lower it from the initial amount asked when we were selling it ourselves. The estate would pay the ridiculous ground rent fee until it sold. Two days after I left to come home, the very low offers starting coming in.  All day long, I turned each of the offers down. By day's end, we got the full listing price offer. I later realised the price was very low. It sold in that week. The management company kept a commission, and we listed it 'as is'.
The potential buyer asked that we settle the following week. I said no, my sister had to get her things. They were aware of that time frame; it was part of the listing agreement. The sales agent said the buyer would walk. I said fine. At this point, I was so annoyed I wanted to tear up the listing agreement and raise the price. But my brother said no, wait a week. I did, and the buyer signed. We also did.
My sister was not happy; she felt we should put the $20,000.00 it would cost to fix, into it and sell it to her for a dollar or rent out the property for the high season. She could not afford the monthly ground rent and the high season rent would not cover all twelve months ground rent. My brother was not happy that she insisted on going down, costing the estate a month of ground rent we did not need to pay and did not come with us to clean out the house. I was upset the listing agent mislead me. But it was sold, and we never have to worry about hurricanes and pest control and nagging homeowner association maintenance letters, again. 
Then, the agent gave the buyer a key to go into the house, alone. I had my spies in place, and they called and told me. I had the sales acceptance ready to fax when we found this out. When the sales agent called to ask why the forms had not been sent, I handed the phone to my angry sister -who had been working herself up to murderize me and hire her own lawyer. The buyer has not trespassed since.
Our sister and her husband drove down to gather the things they wanted and left at the house from the twice a year they visited. My brother in law had purchased a rocking chair from an elderly resident, who had bought it from a chain restaurant. He had planned to take it apart and transport it home to Pennsylvania. My brother, a knowledgeable woodworker, saw it was glued and suggested our brother in law bring a rubber mallot to knock it apart, but doubted if it would ever be the same when putting back together. The decision was made to give it to the next door neighbor. My spy, ah I mean neighbor, assured us my brother in law could visit and sit in the chair whenever he was in Ft Myers.
It was only ever a vacation house, filled with leftovers and thrift store finds, duplicate clothes and an accepted risk of being destroyed by a hurricane or severe weather. But still...   My Mother brought some old pink towels down from when her brothers and sister, broke up their family home; in the 1970's  -I remember her Mother, our NaNa, drying us on those dusty rose color towels. After all these years -they still looked good. It was hard to say goodbye, but they were the scratchiest towels -then and now. Only in NaNa's hands did they seem like love.
  We now have the Pennsylvania house to clean out and sell. My sister lived there most of her life, but when she married 11 years ago, she moved into his condo and never had the room to move any of her things. My parents allowed her to use their house as a giant storage locker.
Our sister claims all the things inside are hers because Mother incorporated them into her home. I remember my Mother being stressed because my sister would never get rid of anything,  She kept it all at their house. Downsizing was not an option for my parents, my sister's things held them captive.
My brother and I have agreed, she can have anything she wants, just remove them from the house. So I drive two hours every other week to Pennsylvania to handle estate business. My brother is handling the house maintenance and going thru generic things to discard. My sister has rented a storage unit, that will bankrupt her. We can not call an appraiser in until her things are removed. She is working on that. She had told me before she left for Florida, it may take her ten years to settle this, and if she gets through this ordeal without killing someone, we will be lucky. 

Retired

April 1st, 2016     rlsimpson

 It has been nine years since I retired
and I was sick with an ass kickin' cold then also.

 I am forgetting all the knowledge I had working
 and most of the people I worked with. 

Retirement has been ok,
the reduced income has not.

This year I sign up for Medicare, 
which I do not understand. 

Along with a 21st century iPhone, 
which I also do not understand.

  I am a 20th Century Woman struggling to walk in a 21st Century life, 

 and I feel the winds of change
 gently pushing me onto the next adventure. 

Mother

How do I write a blog about the death of the person I loved most in this world? The person who loved me as much as I ever allowed anyone to love me? 

I can't. 

Every thing I think or write was influenced by her. I will miss my Mother every day and yet, she was never a part of my life. I shared what I wanted to, when I wanted to.

 The unspoken secret was always a wall between us. 

Now, of course, she knows. 

I pray to God to help her forgive the trespass so she can rest in peace,and be there to meet me in Heaven.

 I will rejoice.

Christmas 2015 and New Year 2016

Christmas 2015
Dear Friends and Family,
My Creative Writing Group has a prompt for those of us that are not working on a novel. This month the topic is “What is the Advantage”. I have no idea what that means or what it means to me. So I thought I would take advantage of my annual Christmas letter and incorporate this homework. 2015 has been health challenged. I found that I had to take advantage of my insurance and visit a mental health therapist a few times. It helped but no magical answers. I find I am still not following the diabetic diet and have not gotten my blood sugar under control.  I have ripe cataracts and without clearance from my ‘sugar doctor’ I am not cleared for the operation. I must get myself under control because; I find no advantage in going blind.
Mother & Dad came home from Florida this year in poor health. In June, she passed out in the bathroom and hit the tub breaking five ribs. She was in the hospital and rehabilitation hospital until July 4th. Four days later she passed out again. This time, they found she had a heart attack and ended up with three stents. November 13th she passed out again and tore up her right knee.  Released to a rehab nursing home, she passed out and fell again injuring the other knee. I am going up to help out, every other week. I thank GOD every day I am not an only child. My sister and brother are wonderful. Both Mother (85) and Dad (88) are now down to their college weights when they first met in 1948. They are upset that they are not in Florida this season. I realize the advantage of making some life decisions now, and not leave my family guessing.  We are looking forward to Christmas with Mother and Dad. Now that is an advantage to this year of sickness.
Deb and Barry are doing fine. Barry (69) has taken on a new role in his Masonic group. We are all very proud of him. Debbie (55) is teaching Astronomy classes this year and, of course, helping Dad and Mother –between classes and life. They have two cats they love and who take full advantage of my sister.
Tom and Karen are doing well and looking forward to a 2016 Alaskan vacation the month after Deb and Barry get back from their vacation in Alaska. Tom and Karen and their extended  family enjoyed a family vacation in Colorado this year. The pictures were beautiful. Tom took a fall over a tree, broke a rib and cut his leg up badly. He is doing well now and continues to be the contact person with my parents’ medical issues. I hope he forgives me for taking advantage of him with my parents.
Both my nieces were in their cousins wedding this year as Jesse Rae Thomas married Craig Taylor. We spend Christmas with them at Tom and Karen’s dinner and have watched this little girl grow up to a beautiful woman. I have enjoyed the advantage of our extended family and even met a published author at her shower and wedding. Heather and Matt still live in Texas but sold their house and are searching for another. They are now living with Matt’s mother. Heather turned 28 plus 2 (30) this year and still loves teaching. It is hard to believe our little girl has been married a year and a half.
The big news is our Rachel (28) bought her first HOUSE! It is located north of Wilmington DE. It is close enough that Tom can come by on the way home from work and do some remolding with her. It is an adorable three bedroom two bath house with a fenced in yard and detached garage. Two houses away is the still active lighthouse. I think it looks like a Thomas Kincaid painting at twilight.
I continue to give things to a local Community thrift store.  I was able to get rid of my grandparent’s breakfront in my living room. I also continue to do my craft classes and bring home the projects or give them away. I am not very good, but I enjoy them. I still belong to two book clubs and, of course, my writing group. I find I need to revisit the joy of time management to take full advantage of my time. LOL
I hope this finds all of you in good health. I pray for a calmer 2016.  Next year I sign up for Medicare! peace robin

My First Pet by rl simpson 11/5/2015

   My first pet turned out to be my only pet and Champ was not mine alone. I was about six or seven and lived on an unpaved street in a neighborhood of five little brick houses. The owner of these little houses was the builder, and his family lived in a larger home on the property. Every house had at least one child. Now that I think on it, no house had a dog or a cat only fish and turtles and children. There must have been a no pet clause in the rental agreement.

   We children all played together through the yards between our houses. We had a swing set. The house at the end had an extra bedroom and a tree in the back yard. Eventually, it was our tree house. Across the paved road, at the end of our street, was a large area of woods. Summer in Virginia was hot, and when a little black and white terrier with a red collar joined our lazy play we were excited. First we got him some water from the hose and them we named him Champ and then we introduced him to all the parents and then we begged to keep him. The parents said no, except for ours.  

   My Dad had some scrap wood and built Champ a dog house. He was ours. We promised to share him with all the other kids, but the dog and his house stayed with us. It was a good summer, and Champ followed my brother everywhere or was it my brother who followed Champ? Champ only had one bad habit. This little dog liked to chase things bigger than he was.  On our dirt street, it was no problem, no fast cars. But across the paved road with the woods to explore, was a temptation no dog could ignore. 

   It was dinner time, and Mother told me to go and find my father and brother. They were out looking for Champ. As I crested the hill that rolled down to the paved road, I saw my brother on the side of the busy paved road. He was five and shouted to me not to come down. My father was with him and had just covered something with a rag. But I saw Champ. He was bloody and dead. I threw up and then ran home crying. My brother and Father followed. It must have been a horrible night for my parents; I know it was for us.

   My brother told me Champ ran the race with the car he pursued, only to stop and be run over by the car behind him.

   I love dogs but never got another pet. My brother only had cats his daughters found in a feral nest while he was cutting the grass. Fish and Turtles and snakes and mice and other things live at his house but never a dog.

   We still have that little red collar somewhere; it moved with us from Virginia.

Hurricane Joaquin or Nor'easter storm log

10/1 =Class assignment to keep a log during the hurricane for four days =I will start today. After class Bette, and I went to Tonio’s for pizza and I moaned about not losing weight as the mark of a really good pizza (grease) ran down my chin. We laughed. I was tired and did not stop at the Acme on the way home. I need to call and arrange for my window air conditioners to be removed because I am cold today. I turned on the heat in my bathroom and living room –just a little. It is raining.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 2ND UPDATE: COASTAL FLOOD WARNING EXTENDED THROUGH SUNDAY, JOAQUIN NO LONGER A PRIMARY CONCERN

10/2 Friday –I am working on my computer trying to figure out what button I pushed to turn off my wireless connection. I feel so dumb. –I could call my brother in law, but he told me last time not to touch any button I do not understand. All the buttons have symbols that represent functions that are universally known to everyone but me. My other computer is at the "Doctors" and will be ready to pick up after 3:30 pm. I do not want to go out in my sleep clothes, so I need to get dressed. “Dr.” Joe just got home from work and had my computer ready. He said I could have called him; Wireless is the F2 function key at the same time as the FN key. I should have called him hours ago. I asked Joe if he worked on Apple computers –not really, sorry Joan. Saw 3-year-old Joseph and his Mother. Amanda co-owns The Madd Potter in Cape May and gives me potting lessons in her home. I met her at the Avalon Library craft workshop. She says I have three more classes. Bought and paid for. Yeah, I want to make jewelry and Christmas Robins. They were in their rainy day clothes and playing with Playdough waiting for daddy Joe to get home. On my way home, I stopped at the Acme for some chocolate milk hurricane tradition and the WaWa for gas. I am officially soaked, time for jammies and call my Parents and then Joan. Phone calls from a couple of friends checking on me. I love the sound of the wind in my trees, but not the sound of rain dripping from my roof.

10/3 –Slept with a window cracked and heard the weather all night. Slept warm and well under a blanket and quilt with the cool air even my pillows were cold. I did not want to get up but the later I slept the worse the dreams got. Thinking of high school friends today who are burying one of our classmates, my heart matches the weather. More calls from friends and Facebook messages. Call from a computer scammer who said my computer was infected. I asked if this was a scam? He said YES, I was completely silent, then he must have realized what he said and hung up. I laughed for the first time today. I am reading and watching TV westerns and feeling guilty for not cleaning. This guilt will pass soon, I hope. Where is all the water from this rain going?

10/4 –windy and drops of rain are coming from my roof –BUT I think I see the sun and blue skies and lots of white clouds. I walk down to my mailbox to get yesterday’s mail. It is so beautiful and windy out. Diane called and wanted me to call the radio station for her psychic show –set my alarm, so I don’t forget. Oh no, now it is Cloudy again. Diane gets a couple of calls for her half hour show. I am on my computer, bored, not writing but ordering online! This is a dangerous storm and is costing me money. I have got to stop, I just ordered a wig ! Talking with John, he is home and doing his travel report, singing to himself and me, I guess, and yelling at me to get my health under control. He likes to multi-task. I keep telling him he talks faster than I think, these days. I need to make a meatloaf and pick the rotisserie chicken. He is making tomato gravy. Madam Secretary was wonderful tonight.

10/5 Sunny and breezy –the storm is over, and the temperature is rising, It is time to open the house turn down the heat and start another week.