Florida -Day 9 (Pine Island)

Today, Mother drove Dad and I out to Pine Island -about 30 min -a 17 mile long island mostly fisherman and artists. Not many Pine trees but lots of PALM TREE Farms. A lot of the farmers belong to the the Pine Island Growers. So you see " P I G " Farms everywhere. What a HOOT!

Although we didn't get out and actually TALK to artists. We had lunch at Capt.'s Con's at the North end -it was about 85 and breezy -just lovely. Mother and Dad had the famous house Fish Stew (cream base) fearing crab meat in the stew I opted for a nice hamburger.

We also bought raffle tickets they were selling to benefit the local Lions Club. The prizes were Pictures by local painters -all very nice. I wrote down Mothers Ft Myers house phone number. The drawing is after I leave....but......I still hope. Have you seen the art in this Florida house? OMG 1930 Motel art is better! Keep you fingers crossed.

We also drove past the house that belongs to a woman I work with at the gym. She and her husband come down whenever they can.

A nice 4 hour day trip with Mother driving and Dad directing from the co=pilot seat. They argue and Mother doesn't talk then Dad stops 'helping' and she talks under her breath -that he (so very deaf) can hear? Go figure. LOL I am having a wonderful time -although i may have to walk home -not enough exercise!!!

Thank goodness for cell phone Pictures!

Florida -Day 6

I just borrowed my parents car and drove to a restaurant off Rt 75 exit 131 to meet up with friends from work. They retired a little before I did and finally settled in Tampa -which is about an hour and a half north.

It was so good to see them. I didn't realize how much. We spoke a little bit about old mutual friends but mostly about how our lives are now that we all have retired. What we are doing -not just to keep ourselves busy- but actually enjoying our lives, doing new things and meeting new people.

We are blessed in our retirement, pensions and healthy attitude towards life.

I may rent a car my last week in Florida and travel around a bit and visit in Tampa. We spoke of the idea I have had floating around my brain of selling my house and moving here. I don't know -I wonder what it would be like with this beautiful weather all year long.

The first step is the biggest -cleaning out my mess and getting rid of all my stuff. I think i have said it before, the economy it getting worst -all we will have is barter and all the stuff an old person can barter with -I am throwing away! smile -no excuses - I need to clean out my house. sigh

Okay here it is day six and I need suggestions from bloggers -what can I do -alone- in Ft Myers and south. High speed boat to Key West and Edison House etc -already did.

Any ideas? I want to hit Pine Island but after that ? _I am almost ready to stop in the IRS office in Ft Myers and take a bunch of numbers off the customer service help machine. smile Ok -so maybe not.

Visiting Parents in Florida =Day Four

Visiting with Parents in Florida is a unique experience.

It is going to 32 tonight or lower and the grounds people are covering the flowering bushes. I should go around and take pictures but I will not -Florida lazy. I did get Dad to ride around with me as I drove the car. It will not be much longer till I have to escape to - ah- less heated enclosures. I had not driven this car much, so I needed to practice. Mother was not joking when she said "oh ,we don't go out in the cold". OK, it is cold for everyone but the Canadians who are still riding bikes but have found long pants! LOL

Dad and I just rode their three wheel bikes up to the club house and the little gym the retirement community has for the residents. Three tread mills (two work) /two bikes (one works)/ one rower/one leg lift/one leg press/ one arm lift and a universal with five stations. A separate weight room but no weighs under eight lbs (all the lower weights are missing). Another separate room has a desk and file for work out cards and you can do Swedish exercise balls and steps , both of which are stored in that room. Pretty good if everything worked.

We went up to learn the equipment from a trainer who works at the gym around the corner. Where, I think , the hard core exercise boomers belong. She teaches some classes in the retirement community and has individual clients she works with; in their homes. She also said her gym has Silver Sneakers and lots of instructors. I am calling Mother and Dad's insurance to see if they will cover that wonderful exercise program for Seniors. Anyway it was a good hour of instruction and how to use the equipment and she wrote down all Dad's settings and weights and exercises. She was great -I would hire her! Maybe Dad can get Mother to go with him? I brought Lysol whipes to use on the machines & I left it there.

Yesterday we watched the Inauguration all day.

I have a 1958 memory of a little white girl, moving South. from up North -wanting a drink of water in DC but not being able to use the water fountains for "coloreds only' and wondering why?

I remember wanting to sit in the back of the bus and the bus driver admonishing my mother for allowing us to go back there. She never could explain to my brother and I, Why we couldn't sit back there with the other children. They were black.

What an amazing and awesome day. Over a million plus people on the mall waving American Flags !

I still have tears in my eyes.

You reached me in sunny Fl -it was at least 75 today -maybe warmer.

Flight left on time maybe a little early -when the stewardess said for everyone to turn off their phones and tunes or electronic stuff -one guy in row 7 or so, decided to ignore her -she kept telling him and he kept back talking her.

She then told him she wasn't going to have a problem at 32000 feet and if he wanted off she would take the plane back to the terminal. Those of us in the back couldn't hear what he said but she was trying to get him to listen and spoke loudly.

Then this window seat man said the guy in the middle threatened (?) him. The problem passenger was about 25 to 30. So the stewardess moved the guy in the middle seat over to another row. But the young man at the window continued to give her grief.

Sooooo she told the pilot to turn around and go back to the terminal and then we docked and a black man in a suit came onboard the plane along with two uniform security police and had the problem passenger get his ONLY bag from the overhead -and walked him off the plane.

The man who had been moved from the middle seat to another row -went back to his row and now took the window seat....hummmm? LOL

My row mates and I asked the stewardess what happened and she told us the watered down version. Never a dull moment.

My row mates were my age and on their way to Miami to pick up a three day cruise. He had retired from the Auto Industry and lost all his savings and retirement and was now back working at a sales job for 48 hours a week. She has two part time jobs. Life goes on. I would like to go on a cruise someday, any advice? They said go on the least expensive cruise -it is all good -just go!

We were about 45 min. late to FT Myers (RSW). Everyone was relived the stewardess took the precautions BEFORE we took off. Nobody wanted trouble at 32000 ft!

My parents are fine and had no idea the plane was late -and they remembered I was visiting!!!

I hear it is snowing in the Northeast, and the Eagles lost= OH well..........-Thinking of youall. /

Neighbors

I stopped in at my neighbors house and Matt answered the door. I asked to speak to his mother. She came to the door and looked every day of her 60+ ?years. I stayed at the door and asked her if she was ok? She said she has been in the hospital with pneumonia. I asked if she got her telephone working yet? She said no but they had a cell. I said if she needed anything to come over. That we would get through this.

She nodded.

I left and went to the gym.
I feel better.
My brother will be proud of me, for reaching out.

The estimate for the door repair should be in the mail, tomorrow.
I am also getting key dead bolts and all the locks changed.
I think I will rent a PO Box and stop home delivery, so I will not have to ask her to get my mail when I am away for more than a couple of days.

I wonder if we will every be neighbor friendly again?

Dockett# 09000027

Update

I called my township and spoke to the municipal court who informs me that the case has been transferred to the County Prosecutor. I called them and they transferred me to the Victim advocate. I spoke with a very nice woman, Amy McGuire, who said the case was transferred to them because he is being charged with two crimes. 3rd degree Theft and 4th degree Breaking and Entering. I think it should be the opposite with 1st degrees being the most serious. But they know the law.

She said the State Police (Trooper Bounds) has to send his reports to the Capitol in Trenton and it takes a while. So the hearing will not be for a few months. I gave her my phone numbers and the dates I will be away and she said she will send me the blue Victim report. With that I can write down my costs and it can be made part of the case for restitution. Perfect. I am getting estimates and have pictures.

I also asked where Matt would get the best help and she said whatever was available was available at both levels. County and Township. She also said the blue form she is sending has a place on the back for my thoughts and feelings.

I told her about my Jan 1st early morning visit from Matt's wife and the visit from Matt before he signed the arrest warrent (when I told him to go away and he did) and she said that could be considered witness tampering. Me being the witness. Which would be an additional charge to Matt.

I corrected her and said no tampering was done -I am the victim and the witness and I WILL be at the hearing. I want no pound of flesh or any blood. (thank you Wil Shakespeare and Trooper Wil Bounds) I do want the money I am spending on the repairs and as much help for this man as he can get. But>>

I realize he is an habitual criminal as soon as he does his drug(s) of choice. At 33 or 35 I have written him off as worthless to me and society. But somebody still loves him -his 1 year old son -if no other mortal being. So>>>>>

I fear, dear Portia, the quality of MY mercy is a bit strained.

I have to work on that.

A Crying Shame or Forgive Those who Tresspass Against Us

POST ROBBERY



I am not doing so well with the anger and forgiveness, but i am praying on it. Cleaning up the glass and calling for estimates on replacement glass and washing everything in my dresser drawers and replacing just what I need and downsizing what i don't.

My cousin Dave came down and took out the glass still in the frame and took out the frame and replaced it with a 1/2 inch pc. of plywood. I wish i could say i helped but i was on my way to the gym when he drove into my neighborhood. He said GO to the gym you need the stress relief -and because i really did; I left. when i got back he was out getting the plywood and his wife had cleaned up the glass. Thank you!!!!


Monday morning I was awakened by a knock at by door -It was Matt -back from the Florida rehab. I said -through the door -"Go away Matt -I cant talk to you" So he went back across the street to his mothers house. The Trooper had told me that he usually advised the Victims -not to talk to the perp. It seemed like good advice -especially since I still had no idea what to say and..............well I know one of the AA 12 steps was to talk to the people hurt. I just wasn't ready to make nice and let him apologize. I know the whole thing is a shame. But..............

It is Matt's shame and I am not ready to forgive. Well I guess I am but I can not forget. I am still so angry.


My Homeowners has a$500.00 deductible . Figures. Now I am waiting for the estimate and i will ask the Judge to include that in the judgement.


YEP, after Matt left on Monday -I called the State Police and told them he was back in the State. The Trooper I worked with wasn't on duty till 5 pm . But I let the desk Trooper know what was going on. Then I called back at 9pm and Matt was there turning himself in and signing the arrest warrant. He is released on his own recognizance. I asked if I would be notified when the hearing was to be. The trooper said -"OH yes you will be subpoenaed."


I have tickets to go to Florida for three weeks and now i may have to change them. If i do, I am including that in my total out of pocket costs. I have to get dead blots and locks and keys changed.


I supposed i should be glad i had this little wake up call to get better security and i did get all my jewelry back and he didn't trash my place (ok yes I WOULD know if my placed was trashed).


But I am angry. I eat everything not tied down . I know i am gaining weight. I am working on calm and forgiveness.

I can not imagine how my neighbor of 30 years (and I thought my friend), his mother, must be feeling because ...........well.....she hasn't called me or come over to see how I am.

And that is the other thing I will never forget.

My brother said I soon need to reach out to her. But he is a much better person than I ever will be. I have to work on that.

This whole mess is a crying shame.

The Calvary is not Coming!

I left my home on Christmas Eve day ,for my trip to my families home in Pennsylvania. Over the river and thru the woods -just like the song. I am glad my car knew the way because I was still not feeling that well -I was at the next to last day of a course of anti bio tics for this throat/chest infection. But my parents were home for a week from Florida and I wanted to be with family. I had decorated the house when I was up for Thanksgiving -and Mother said she was very surprised and pleased, how festive the house looked. My sister in law vacuumed for me since I couldn't get up before the parents got home and my sister dusted.

I was able to get to a Christmas Eve Church Service at Trinity Episcopal Church in Aston Mills -it is a really old tiny church -maybe 150 years old -I had never been there and friends of mine have started going and the husband even sings in the 9 person choir. The organ sounds terrible and needs to be worked on but those 9 people are the best small choir I ever heard. They could and should sing without music. They are that good. The service had about 25 to 30 people Christmas Eve and the interim pastor (they are looking) was female and gave a wonderful sermon. I wonder why she isn't staying? Over on the other side of the river in Merchantville NJ, the big Episcopal Church is also looking for a rector. I usually stop in there for a visit a couple times a year. Christmas Eve in this church is awesome also. But I have heard their interim woman pastor preach and truthfully you could not PAY me to go back to that church while she is there. Talk about awful. Unfortunately the vestry search committee feels the same - I hope God guides their choice -otherwise ?-well they must be desperate.

Christmas Day and I am smelling up the house with cookies , my parents and I open our presents and listen to the Messiah on tape. We get ready and head over to my brother's home. His family has Christmas Dinner for our family and my sister in law's family. It is very nice. After buffet dinner and cleaning up -Karen passes out words to Christmas songs. Then we all sing. No music -just us. We laugh and for 12 Days of Christmas all take a verse 12/5/1 are sung together -but the other verses are sung by groups of people sitting together. Our Dad and Karen's Dad are usually sitting together -neither one can hear or walk well any longer -but they can sing loud! We all laugh, then before anyone leaves we take a picture. This year one of my nieces boyfriend, Scott, took the pic. The other niece ,now living in Texas , was able to be home but her significant other was taking his finals for the Houston Police Academy. He said the classes are difficult; maybe next year he will be able to come and visit. My sister hasn't met him yet but sent a Dunkin Donut Gift Cert down to him (LOL get it; cops love donuts)

The next day we hosted a Turkey dinner for my brother and sister and their families. I was exhausted, it has been 7 weeks since my stent heart surgery and my energy level is not up to par. Mother did well -but she was tired also. Sat was a rest day. Sunday I dove her over to Pennsauken NJ to see her sister and the families resulting from her three sons. Whew! only 4 people were missing. My cousins' son, Ric, -who was on Coast Guard Duty in Cape May and my other cousins daughter and husband and three month old daughter. Cathy is in the Air Force in Tuscon AZ. But they will be back in Feb for the Christening. I can not wait to meet Chloe. My Aunt has 4 Great grandchildren now. How wonderful is that! We have a great Family. I am so glad my mother was able to see everyone.

Tues had my retinaologist eye apt. He is very pleased no new retina leeks, no swelling and next apt in 4 months. Considering the trauma to my body and the blood sugar highs from the operation meds -he was pleased and so was I. Yea!

Wed I took my parents to the airport to fly back to Ft Myers and drove home to southern NJ.

I walked into a very cold house and the back glass door to my porch was open. The glass had been smashed. I called my brother who asked if the glass was inside the house -I said yes and he said the house had been broken into, Go check my Jewelry and yes -my dresser has been ransacked and one dresser drawer was missing. I found a loose charm from a 40 year old silver charm bracelet on the floor. Crap. My brother said call the police . So I did. A nice State Trooper came and went thru my house and attic. I never even thought about someone still being in the house -but the house was cold so it could have been open for days. Well I went around to my neighbors and told them and said the police may be coming to talk to them. Seven weeks from the heart surgery -I need this stress?

Then, settled down to clean up some glass and find something to stop the wind and cold from coming in the broken door. I am angry and wonder when I will get a hold of my insurance man -who seems to be closed for the holiday. My cousin, Dave, said he will come down on Sat and see if he can help me get a glass for the door. or something to see me thru until I can get a new door with a deadbolt. I really like my glass door. This sucks.

My closest friend across the street was at work. Her phone was not working so I went over later, when I saw her car. Her daughter in law -who lives in the neighborhood -came to the back door with her cell phone , while we were talking-so I told her about the break in. My neighbor then said her son was in Rehab in Florida. He had a drinking and drug problem -did some time -turned his life around -got married -became a Dad and started gambling and stealing from his wife -so he relapsed ,spent some time in the County jail did some rhab got out and was to start a program this Monday but decided he needed to go to Fl to a rehab there? OK- not my business and I said I would talk to her later and left.

Next thing I know the daughter in law is at my door with her cell and hands it to me and says it is her husband in the rehab in Florida. YOU guessed it -he was abusing some substance and broke into my house by smashing the back door glass, and stole some jewelry. I asked him what he took and he said he hadn't fenced it yet, it was in a hat at his mothers. His wife recovered it and brought it back to me - ALL, I think, that he took? Matt cried and begged me not to go to the police -but of course it was to late. The police already had been here.

So I called back the neighbors I had warned. Called the Trooper -who came back over -on New Years Eve and they were VERY busy. I told him the story. he went to talk to Matt's wife. I don't know if he went back to the neighbors he had already interviewed. I spent New Year's Eve on the phone talking to my sister, my brother in law (an ex cop) , our friend Carol, my brother, my cousin, Dave and my best friend in Las Vegas -both with Federal Law Enforcement experience. I am upset. If the trooper had come back to my house -I would have asked for a hug. This is when I HATE being alone.

I wasn't able to get to sleep until after 3am -but this morning at 9, I got a call from the wife -who came to my house and cried on my couch for an hour. How the system had failed Matt and he needed help. How he made bad choices and he is going to loose everything and go back to prison. How it was only things and he could have done so much more damage but he didn't. And he told where the items were. I kept thinking how my friend , his mother, would cry at my table and say the same things and how, when her sons were teens, she would worry and try to get her insurance to pay for rehab for them both. Where does it stop? Do we have different rules for regular people and ones for substance abusers? Yes I am glad he admitted to the theft and didn't fence the most personal piece of jewelry I ever owned. He may have gotten $50.00 ? But he SHOULD have told the truth. That is what responsible people do. God bless his wife and son, I hope they can reclaim their lives, but I am the VICTIM.

I have this motto that runs thru my head when I am in trouble.
The Calvary isn't coming -you are going to have to save yourself. I say a prayer and do what needs to be done.

When will Matt stop looking for that magical grain of sand on the beach that will cure him? or that counselor who will help him stay sober? His wife seems to think he is in danger of taking his life. That would be a waste, but I think that may be what he is slowly doing to himself. What a selfish man. His Father had substance abuse problems and never worked thru it in AA; now Matt may take the selfish way out and his son will have all that to work out for himself. When does it end? Who breaks the cycle? A mother and a wife that spout excuses. When does the abuser say enough and save himself? I am the victim, I have seen this man grow up and I thought mature. When he was first married and bought their first house , I invited them to walk thru my house and anything they wanted I would have given them. But they only took a roll of fabric. Why did he break my door in? I wonder if it was the only time he broke in? His wife said Yes it was the only time. But I wonder. At one time his mother had my key. I have since changed the locks. Now I have to go through that expense again. I am still upset but now I am pissed.

About 15 minutes after she left -I got a call from the Sate Police to come down to the station so they could make a tape recording of why I called 911 and what Matt said to me on the phone and how my missing items were recovered. I go in and tell what I know first hand / no opinions /ask some questions and leave. Maybe it took 20 minutes.

I hope he gets help. Apparently the Trooper has spoken to him and if he can get out of rehab and come back to NJ and sign his arrest papers(?) by this Monday; they will not lock him up then but schedule him for a court date. But if he feels this rehab is helping him in FL and he cant leave yet -they will issue a warrant for his arrest and he will probably be arrested in FL. but not sent back to NJ.

At this point I HOPE their house sells, his wife moves back to Pa. and his mother moves to FL.

I don't hope for Matt anymore.

The Calvary isn't coming , he needs to save himself.